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Jun. 5th, 2007
Missing the point
Jun. 5th, 2007 07:07 pmToday, I have had a bad day. Starting in the morning when I first felt the chest pains, to lunch when I was out of breath and hurting from doing the job I always do, waiting 40mins for a bus to the hospital, spending the afternoon there getting checked over. (The one bit of good news is that I'm not about to have a heart attack, but I may have torn a muscle. Sorry, did I say good? Most of you will probably think that's bad)
Then when I got home, I did my usual routine of check LJ, check EMail.
LJ first. Tal complaining that I'm trying to treat her like the rest of the world treats everybody. Hint: The rest of the world does not care if you got defrauded, the bills still need paying. And if it looks like you're about to vanish into thin air, debt collection measures escalate. Then, out of curiosity, checked Heather's LJ in case there was anything about Decalogy. Yep. Bitching about me. In order: It's Depression with a capital D, as in the medical condition. I know about things like flash-blindness, and not bugging guests. I haven't read reports about media cons because no-one I know goes to them. Alcohol is a depressant, which is not a good idea if you are Depressed. I didn't go for the guests in the first place, I went to hang out with my so-called friend, who was the one who invited me in the first place to do so, and who then avoided me like the plague. I am not good at talking to complete strangers at the best of times - when in a Depression, I find it nigh on impossible. Didn't go to the talks because I didn't see a lot of point in straining to hear anything intelligible through the PA system about something I'd never heard of before (and yes, apathy and lethargy are symptoms of Depression, just like insomnia, lack of apetite, etc). Cliques: see above about talking to random strangers and people who don't want to know me. Kane: The only people I noticed clapping enthusiastically were those sitting in front of a speaker so there was no interference from others. And I know I did something to piss you both off. And am I going to get your side of the story, so I know just what to apologise for? And bear in mind that a third party's recollection of something told to them two months ago is not going to be a true representation of the original. So Heather, if you're reading this, deign to descend to the mortal world for five minutes and talk to me and see if I still feel like apologising, then you can fuck off and die in a ditch with your intestines spread over the road and plague rats eating your lungs.
Then when I got home, I did my usual routine of check LJ, check EMail.
LJ first. Tal complaining that I'm trying to treat her like the rest of the world treats everybody. Hint: The rest of the world does not care if you got defrauded, the bills still need paying. And if it looks like you're about to vanish into thin air, debt collection measures escalate. Then, out of curiosity, checked Heather's LJ in case there was anything about Decalogy. Yep. Bitching about me. In order: It's Depression with a capital D, as in the medical condition. I know about things like flash-blindness, and not bugging guests. I haven't read reports about media cons because no-one I know goes to them. Alcohol is a depressant, which is not a good idea if you are Depressed. I didn't go for the guests in the first place, I went to hang out with my so-called friend, who was the one who invited me in the first place to do so, and who then avoided me like the plague. I am not good at talking to complete strangers at the best of times - when in a Depression, I find it nigh on impossible. Didn't go to the talks because I didn't see a lot of point in straining to hear anything intelligible through the PA system about something I'd never heard of before (and yes, apathy and lethargy are symptoms of Depression, just like insomnia, lack of apetite, etc). Cliques: see above about talking to random strangers and people who don't want to know me. Kane: The only people I noticed clapping enthusiastically were those sitting in front of a speaker so there was no interference from others. And I know I did something to piss you both off. And am I going to get your side of the story, so I know just what to apologise for? And bear in mind that a third party's recollection of something told to them two months ago is not going to be a true representation of the original. So Heather, if you're reading this, deign to descend to the mortal world for five minutes and talk to me and see if I still feel like apologising, then you can fuck off and die in a ditch with your intestines spread over the road and plague rats eating your lungs.