(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2009 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabremeisterIn the early hours of this morning my grandma died.
The same grandma who spent most of the last four years insulting and belittling me and my career choices.
The same grandma who called me stupid for doing what we had agreed I would do the day before (something which would help me get onto a career path more to her approval).
The same grandma who nearly sent me into Depression with her attitude and comments.
The same grandma who once bit me on the arm at a horse show because I was bored and didn't want to be there, and being 13 wasn't reluctant to make it known.
And I'm supposed to be upset?
And no, I won't be going to the funeral. Partly because it's in London, partly because I don't want to feel morbid (as it inevitably would make me feel), but mainly because I hated the bitch.
The same grandma who spent most of the last four years insulting and belittling me and my career choices.
The same grandma who called me stupid for doing what we had agreed I would do the day before (something which would help me get onto a career path more to her approval).
The same grandma who nearly sent me into Depression with her attitude and comments.
The same grandma who once bit me on the arm at a horse show because I was bored and didn't want to be there, and being 13 wasn't reluctant to make it known.
And I'm supposed to be upset?
And no, I won't be going to the funeral. Partly because it's in London, partly because I don't want to feel morbid (as it inevitably would make me feel), but mainly because I hated the bitch.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-27 02:25 pm (UTC)If someone you dislike/hate dies, relief (and joy) are the natural byproducts.
A tyrant dies, people celebrate, this is normal. Why is it any different going from a crowd-scenario to an individual one?
Good call skipping the funeral, too.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-27 02:58 pm (UTC)I don't. It's not that I'm pleased she's gone, either. I felt maybe a pang when I read the EMail from my dad (she was his mum, and he lives in Germany), but to me it's no loss. I'm only sorry she never realised (or was told) how despicably she behaved to me, and how it affected me, for which she never apologised - not even the bite.
As for the funeral, the only way I'd be able to get down there anyway is if I got a lift with my sister, and she's working. So, no funeral, no morbid depression, no pretending to give a monkeys to relatives I haven't seen in years, and even then had no clue as to who they were. 'Cos I don't feel anything much anyway, and I'd likely start shouting about how shitty she treated me, which is not what people want to hear at a funeral.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-27 04:17 pm (UTC)